11:23 p.m. - 2021-01-19
Jen messaged me around 5am as usual and we chatted about things and our dreams for a bit. It's always comforting for me to talk to someone that early before the day starts.
I fell back asleep and slept until around 11am! I felt so out of it, and wiped out.
I had Sal take me to get cat food and to do a little light shopping as if I gave him a list he'd pout and mess it all up. Sort of felt weird being out with my little secret.
My usual friends have been checking in on me so that's nice. Then again maybe they are just checking to make sure I'm not dead yet..
I've been reading a lot, but sometimes it's getting hard for me to remain focussed. I feel so cut off from everything, like I'm not really a part of the world right now. I've emotionally flatlined too..I keep praying to just let me feel love for any amount of time, just some sort of happiness but I get nothing.
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