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11:25 p.m. - 2020-05-18
nurse kit
Back from my weekend in Fresno with family. Father still in hospital after yet another operation. They keep giving him more and more morphine, then he gets confused and agitated so they decide to keep him another day.
KT's mom fell, bumped her head and is in the same hospital as my father with blood on her brain. She is also confused and does not know where she is and cannot have any visitors due to Covid scare. It's such bullshit!!

Rainbow and I spent Saturday together. We went to an estate sale featuring mostly things from 50's and 60's. I got a few cute metal bathroom items and a lovely bird bath. She got an old toy nurses kit with all the original toy pieces inside. Then we went plant shopping and spent hours at the nurseries looking and buying plants. We were going to hang out Sunday but she got food poisoning, so hung out with my sister instead.

My energy body clearing class has been going well. Working on all the old emotions and stories causing me to be triggered right now. Mostly stuff dealing with abandonment issues.

Why do I always have a perpetual crush on somebody??? The minute I stop liking someone and feel happy just doing my own thing, someone new jumps into the picture. And it's always the same, there is potential, I think she likes me..there are signs and gestures one day, and then another day nothing. I'm doing some work into that now, asking myself when I abandon myself, when do I feel I'm not there for myself and how does that make me feel. Anyway I want to move through this issue so it doesn't keep coming up over and over in relationships.

She sent me a few pictures of her today and I really wasn't expecting that. I wish I could read people better..



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