12:00 p.m. - 2022-12-26
Decisions..
I meant to write last night but past out early instead. Not like I worked super hard in the kitchen this year..I had everything halfway ready, and premade the meatballs, salted the other meats in advance.
Bev came over for Xmas and it sort of was annoying because she mostly just complained about work and the homeless as usual. My son didn't get any of us gifts as usual.
I haven't been having any interesting dreams like I use to. In fact I had a nightmare that I was flying a C208 at night, and it was spiraling out of control. I kept trying to correct it, level the wings with my attitude indicator but I didn't even know where I was going. Geez, perfect example of my life right now!
All I do is question myself if I'm doing the right thing..am I in the right job, am I purchasing and investing in the right things;-am I neglecting spending enough time with family..etc.
I've been feeling a lack of community, a lack of having the poetic "tribe" or close group of friends. I'm constantly breaking myself down and rebuilding, but always questioning.
My 2023 300cc Vespa came in, cost me more than I expected. I'm having them hold it and do some extra detail work to it. I'm hoping it will bring in some excitement, esp. when the weather is good and I can drive it to the beach. They seem to really hold their value and don't depreciate as fast as other scooters and bikes.
I'm also wondering when I should take a vacation and to where. Sometimes I get jealous when I see so many old friend's vacation photos on FB, then I question myself for working so much, and so hard all the time and wonder if I'll regret not taking as much time off as many other people. Though it's harder for me to get time off with my work, so that makes me question if I'm in the right work or if I'll regret that as well someday.
Too much to think about!
