10:29 p.m. - 2023-09-28
head pound
I quit my job with Amtrak a few weeks back wanting to slow down and feel less trapped. So for a few weeks I ended up doing house projects the entire time and then going back still as "casual" with my other company who has been working me full-time with overtime on top of that since. Then if that wasn't enough I decided to enroll in an online 2 year course in Ayurvedic medicine which takes up any remaining free time I have. When the fuck am I going to slow down?? Why can't I just say no to work and take some time off to go have fun??? What the fuck is wrong with me???
I stopped by Air San Luis as I had an hour to kill in between para transit pick ups at work. The place looks the same since I stopped flight instructing there 20 some years ago, it's like it just frooze with time, except have the people who worked there are all dead now.
The airport got too big for its britches and keeps pushing general aviation to the sides while giving in to the demands of corporate, and expanding for the airlines. We can't park in the tie down we had for all those years (my plane was parked there since it was new in the 80's. They expanded a taxi way to make room for airlines. Now a 737 wing glides over part of the tie down I was in. And then I found out that they are moving my plane around the airport in Paso because again, everyone else thinks they can have my parking space, the one that two airport supervisors told me to take! I feel like I'm being run off the ramp, the ramp that I pay to park in for the past 7 years..the ramp they don't even pick the weeds out of the cracks from! I feel like moving my plane to the nice freshly paved ramp they made for all these fucking corporate planes flying in all the rich fuckers visiting their new wineries in our county. I should move my plane there and set the parking brake on, then lock the doors so they can't move it! Let them have my old spot..Lol!
Sal's taking the plane for another week to visit his family in AZ next week. He's gotten to take so much time off this year it's ridiculous. I took a few days to go help KT with her mom's funeral and took my daughter. I think I'll just take off like Sal does and let him and the kids fend for themselves. The only reason I haven't gone on a road trip to visit my sister or do anything fun is because Jo is in school and I don't want to take her out again like I did for the funeral. But her father can just go do whatever the fuck he wants whenever he wants and I'm tired of this.
I told my company I'd cover my coworker's shift while she is out on medical for the next 3 weeks. I think I'll split after that. I want to be here for Jo's birthday though on the 31, so I need to figure out when and where exactly I'll go.
I don't know if it's my hormones or what but today I just hit another new level of burn out. I feel like I'm loosing my mind I just keep doing the same thing over and over again..like I'm pounding my head on a wall over and over.
