10:10 p.m. - 2021-06-14
alone again
I'm so on edge tonight..first Sal tells me that the plane is taking longer to finish up because our IA keeps getting distracted and other planes are more important to him to finish up first then ours. There really isn't anything I can do about it, just pray and put out good vibes it gets done sooner then later.
Then I'm still down about this chat group I was trying to make friends with. We were doing this chat meditation thing and it was all going good, I even started a conversation (not easy for me to do) and everyone thanked me for the discussion and tips I had on the subject.
Then my work schedule changed and I asked Alara (the one who puts on the group meditation ) that I'd have to miss out because of my new schedule and requested she add on an evening meditation (which others in the group liked). But she said even though she'd like to her father is home around that time and ruins her vibe. Then when she was reading off our names so we could take turns chatting about our gratitude she didn't call me, but asked if she missed someone. I said "me, you forgot me" and she was all "whos me" which I thought was weird because it always flashes who is speaking. So that made me sad because I felt like she over looked me on purpose.
Anyway..I bought tickets to go to this conference in Sedona next month where she and several other podcasters I follow will be speaking. Going alone, yeah setting myself up for another awkward event. Still, I usually make at least one new friend when I travel alone to these different group things. At least that's one thing I can count on just from my track record. If I don't make at least one new friend then I will for sure know I am not a part of this group. I'm wondering if I will meet Alara, Kate and the other few I enjoy listening to, or if they will blow me off because honestly I don't fit in anywhere! Nobody gets me and that is not going to change anytime soon.
I did find a nice little studio to rent for my stay which is close to some trail heads..so I'm looking forward to some awesome hikes alone, as usual.
