10:09 p.m. - 2020-12-07
lunch at last
Got a lot of rest this weekend and stayed off FB the entire time. It's hard to also be on an media blackout when there is so much happening in the world right now, but I need a break. It's really confusing and triggering me.
Got to work this morning and Riley helped me set up my container cat shelter on the other side of the fence where we've been feeding the 3 ferrals. Most of the people at work seem happy and curious about our neighbors who live in the river bed, so it's nice to divert some of our low moral vibes over to caring for other beings who are just trying to stay alive.
Francine texted me wanting to meet for lunch since she was in the area and both of us had like 3 hours to kill. So we met up and had a great lunch in this secluded little garden area of a restaurant still serving in and outside despite the new shutdown.
It was so great to connect with her and we had an awesome conversation. She's one of the few people who can look me directly in the eyes and hold that for an extended amount of time without it feeling awkward. She invited to connect with her and her group of lightworkers for their Saturday gatherings, and I told her to give me more info on it. I have so much to tell her but I don't want to be overbearing, and push myself on her. Sometimes I want to connect with someone so bad, exchange information or just feel close that I worry I smother people. So I might just write a letter over a period of time like I do with some of my friends, then give it later with a gift. She does not like to text, or talk on the phone with me at least, but enjoys long email exchanges from time to time. But she is sort of fuzzy when it comes to boundaries so I'm always not really sure where we are at, or where she is at for that matter with me.
I did tell her about my issue I've been having with my ex of 30 some years ago who keeps getting brought up or as of last night was in my dreams. She really gave me some good advice on how to handle the issue, or at least how she has handled similar issues in her life. She said that sometimes it's not all us and these cords or ties we have with all these people who were in our lives may be giving us feedback from them. So she just sends out love and healing energy out back at them for them to heal and let go too. I'm going to try this.
