10:50 p.m. - 2020-11-20
Stuff I'd rather forget
I've been avoiding my problems lately..not wanting to think, or much less write about them. So instead I've been having nightmares every night, all with the same theme.
I kept my time off of work I had requested for the Big Sur camping trip that got canceled by the state parks.
Did a fly-out one day, followed by the mussel harvesting Meetup with Lez Cruise. Brought Jojo and visited some old friends in Aptos. Of course M always wants to run down memory lane, and talk about all our old friends and stuff I mostly wouldn't mind forgetting about. Then he had to show me a picture of my ex from like 30 years ago, and tell me about all the cool stuff he's doing now, and how he is now up in my favorite state where I use to live. It's like he totally shadowed my life and never thanked me for pushing him to fly like I was at the time we were going out. He was too busy then shooting up, and being a rock star, fucking all the women he could. I have so much resentment for him, and M and A love reminiscing all about him..in fact A is remastering songs they played in their bands back in the early 90's.
That was such a powerful time for them, and a struggling time for me. But M was born with a gold spoon in his mouth and had the $ to move on. He eventually abandoned everyone, and keeps a low profile now.
I'm going to tell A and M to never mention his name to me again, nor show me pictures or tell me rumors of whatever they hear he's up to.
I have to get up early for my kayak fishing safety class.. hope I can sleep.
