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11:25 p.m. - 2020-10-27
Busy three day weekend..Rainbow came out to visit and we did a ton of things.
Saturday we did yoga and a sound bath which was badly needed by me. It was the first time doing that outside under these trees on top of a hill. The breeze on my face, and they way the branches swayed and filtered the sunlight down on me made the experience even more sublime. After that we went to the hot springs for a swim.
The next day we drove to Santa Cruz for the lez shark watching boat ride. I really wished she had driven as everything my car's computer controls is starting to fail..including my sound system! So we ended up playing music on our phone's speakers for the ride..ugh.
Didn't meet anyone new and single on the boat, but it was nice to just be around other women. No sharks either so I drank a couple beers on the boat instead and just had a great time. There is something about how the the wet wind pounds on my face, skipping across swells that makes me feel alive! Flying, boating, motorbikes..speed and motion I guess feel the best to me.
What is hard for me is that my friend snores so loud, and stops breathing, choking through the night. Usually she's on a machine for that but she left it at her boyfriend's house. That is the one thing that gets me is trying to sleep with a storer. I suffered through 17 years of it (only on weekends) and it was always me made to feel like shit for being so angry over it. Me, the one who now has to have music on in order to sleep...and on most nights and always when sleeping next to someone who snores needs to be half drunk or on sleeping pills!
I'm having hormone issues again but I fear going to a doctor about it. I mean it's a normal phase of life, I can't stop it so what's the point. If I go to a doctor they'll just nag me about not having ever had a mammogram, or now the news is saying they want everyone on normal health to have a colonoscopy by 45! No fucking way for either of those for me! This captain is going down with the ship!!
I guess I'll find my own way to ease the discomfort of the cracking dry skin, the extra bleeding, and rapid mood swings.



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