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11:33 p.m. - 2020-05-12
chicking in
Not too many synchronicities for me so far this week. I got a lot of things sorted out in my mind and heart during my 9.5mile hike/run on Mothers Day. My new energy clearing class started Saturday and we are starting the first practice of "flipping stones".. or in other words reviewing the number of times we got our buttons pushed, or were triggered recently, and going into the pain of it to see what comes up. For me, layers and layers of bad experiences I swept under the rug over the years. So I let some of them come up, but have not gotten to the important clearing part of it yet. I started working with another woman in the class and she's a little more practiced in some of the class techniques then I am. But we chat on and off during the day and exchange's nice to have that now and esp. with someone I won't get too attached to.
I'm still hurt that I reached out to my friend the other night to talk about something she was looking for help with and she told me she was too busy reading to talk and we'd talk later. She's not gotten back to me and this is yes pushing my buttons! It lights up all my faers over watching a friend drift away again over time. Although two of my other close friends KT and Jen are both the same way to me, they only want to talk on their time and check in with me whenever suites them. Sometimes it's often, other times they'll go weeks without a word and sometimes ignoring my calls or text. It really hurts me. I just don't understand it. I wish I had someone I could just check in with on a daily basis, even if it's just a quick "how was your day? Oh it was fine, but I'm super tired now so I'll tell you more tomorrow" and then I get the follow through. I really miss having friends like that.



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