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9:29 p.m. - 2020-04-26
Sunday night, Sunday nights are always so hard for me because I know I have another work week ahead.
I took Friday off because of my insomnia. I felt guilty as usual for two reasons, one I always feel bad calling in sick, and two one of my supervisors at work gave me $50 to take him and his girlfriend up on a flight over the wildflowers. I told him I'm really last minute with my flights because of weather and work schedule stuff, but he sent me Paypal anyway. He was ok about it as far as text goes..but I'm sure I pissed him off when I told him I was up all night and couldn't fly so early. I even offered to take them later in the day but he said they'll have to find another date.
Friday I went with Sal to get some more chicks and we waited nearly 2 hours as they called in one person at a time to pick. J had posted something about finding she was more masculine then feminine, and I replied being curious where she found out that. So she told me she was really curious about me and pm me the astrology link. Mine said I was 50-50, then she sent me her chart which I thought was pretty special. We ended up chatting back and forth most of the day until she stopped replying. I hate when people just fade away in the middle of texting. Why can't they just say, "hey, gotta go but great talking to you". Instead they just fade the texting and give thumbs up, or hearts and stop talking. Just sort of a new pet peeve of mine...
So later that night Sue text me that she's really not up for starting another long distance relationship right now, and I was actually relieved at that. I really wasn't too interested in her, but told her I'd like to be friends and she agreed. Shes been texting me on and off since so that is just fine.
Saturday spent most of the day running back and forth between Home Depot and Ace hardware. Seems like less and less people are wearing their mask now, or maybe just at the hardware stores. It was in the 80's all weekend..too hot to wear those damn things outside! Anyway, I decided to build a fountain in my garden that looks like a miniature mountain with a waterfall. I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was in some other realm and the gods/goddess there sent me down to earth as a giant. I was climbing through mountains whose peaks where as tall as I was. I kept hugging all these mountains and it felt so good! Saturday shopped for supplies.. then today I spent most of the day experimenting with different types of mortor, chicken wire and cloth. It just is not going to work. I'm going to scrape it all and rebuild it using small cement box and the base, and then using grout to hold the various lava rocks and such I got. I also got some nice moss to add to the landscape once I get it built, and a new small fountain pump on the way. I don't know why I feel the need to constantly be creating things and starting new projects! I keep several of them going at once and takes me so long to complete one when I'm jumping around from project to project.
Oh, J showed me the new planner she got to keep track of what she needs to do, and what she did, followed by the results if any of what she focuses on. I've tried planners and they use to work so well for me. Then for the last few years I've bought them and never used them. I'm really thinking about trying to get organized but not sure of a planner. I set all these reminders on my phone for things like "time to take vitamins" or other appointments I need to remember. I'm just not sure if I'm capable of being dedicated to a daily planner, but I'd like to be..I just don't know where to start ha!!!
I remember my friend Grey use to write out what she needs to do on her closet mirrors... She's funny..I miss talking to her.
So earlier today when I took Jojo to Target to get gifts for her new friend from Oregon who she met online..another story.. I bought some Zzquil. I'm going to take some tonight as the Valerian tea isn't doing anything. I did two meditations today and I'm going to try and keep that up. In both of them today actually I saw prisms and rainbows. The last one I recieved a message to paint a picture of whatever situation needs healing, and to paint a rainbow over it. Well turns out I had a nightmare last night that kept me anxious all day. I dreamt that I ran into an old flying friend, Jolie, and started talking to her. Then some dude came up to her and interrupted, started talking to her like I wasn't even there. I said "dude, how fuckng rude are you to just interupt us like that, excuse yourself!" He looked at me puzzled, then looked at Jolie. Jolie looked at me neutral, then turned to him and said "anyway, what were you saying", and then they just began talking like I wasn't even there! So tonight I thought what do I have to loose..and I drew a picture of it in pen and ink. Then I used my water color pencils, and paintbrush and painted a large rainbow right over the three of us. It actually felt pretty good to do that, so I might start applying this to more of my issues.
In meditation I was told to use more prisms as the light is healing, and clearing the same way that sage, and soundbath work. So I'm going to look into that..
Better take my night sleep elixir...



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