11:18 p.m. - 2020-04-06
I seem to be having an entirely different experience of these times then my friends in the Bay Area. They complain how hard it is now to be in public with so much fear and how people won't make eye contact, and walk with so much fear.
It doesn't feel like that at all here.. Most likely because we are a bit on the rural side, and as Oprah calls it "the most happiest place in the US".. I don't know about that! But people have so far been really polite, making small jokes over all of it, but minding some distance. Not everyone in mask here, maybe 20% wearers out in public. I decided to wear my union mask all the time when I'm in my work uniform actually working, and also in busier stores. Just the cloth mask though not the N95 or whatever one. I think there are only 20 people actually recovering from it here in this county right now, and one death who was 85 with health issues. Most of us believe the virus passed through here this past November-January. Everyone was calling in sick and staying out for weeks with the same symptoms. That was before testing so who knows.
Anyway, I don't feel fear here so much as I do just slight depression and longing for how things were before all this. A bunch of us at work are kicking ourselves over complaining in the past about being overworked, or problems with the same customers. That all seems so trivial now. Now nothing is predictable. We don't even know if they'll shut down the entire transit system next. We all miss being able to hug and touch each other.
Guess I won't make it to my folks for Easter as my father is high risk with his ill health.
I had some anxiety this morning from out of nowhere, but my "vata" vitamins came in the mail and they really help me calm down. That ayurvedic medicine really works!
My 11 year old daughter has been making me upset. When we moved here it was not supposed to be permanent. So since she had been sleeping with me for the past 3 years instead of being in her own bed, we got rid of her bed and she and I just continued to share a room in this new temporary place. I love my queen size, memory foam, adjustable and vibrating bed I got for free from Sears because they forgot to charge me the $3k for it, then shut down. I've moved myself out of the house and into my vintage trailer because I miss my privacy and it's so cozy in here. Now she wants me to get rid of my bed and get her a twin loft bed so she can have more room in her room. I'm not selling my bed! I love my bed and want to use it for when I get a house of my own..which may take awhile depending on the size of the next catastrophic event coming to this planet! She can really lay on the guilt trip fast, just like my mother. In fact I'm sure she's discussing the matter with my mother now.
Anyway..the Zzquil is kicking in so might as well go to dreamland now...
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