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7:11 a.m. - 2017-10-02
Guilt
Already October and I'm trying to slow it all down to enjoy this time of year a bit. But I'm so physically exhausted right now, one day off a week is not enough and I'm looking for a third job to help pay off debts.
I cannot figure out why my accountant has put off my taxes for so long. I had to keep on him to finish them up and then when he did and said I owed $6k he kept throwing me IRA options to help, then he'd ask me more questions to see if he could bring it down more...like one question a week. All this has been stressing me out so much!
I feel like the more I work the more I owe, oh and no the state has not paid me since I restarted working for them in July! They've also made up excuse after excuse, passing the buck to the next department! I finally got my Fed contract salary on auto deposit, but now the state contract pays whenever they feel like it!
I really need to find something else, this is not cutting it.
We are selling the house in the spring and I'd like to get a condo or small home close to the beach next because I want to be closer to the water and out of the heat.
But another part of me just wants to leave the country!
I feel so bombarded by programs pressuring me to find "my purpose in life" by buying into their program, reading this book, going on that retreat or whatever. Why does everything have to have a mission? Am I really wasting time, wasting my life if I can't write down a purpose to show the world?? When things go wrong or get uncomfortable is it really my fault because I attracted the situation with some "negative" thinking?

 

 

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