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6:59 a.m. - 2017-04-14
It's been a few months since I started dating Lisa and I just don't know how I feel about it anymore. To me it's like being with Mary Poppins. She is so wrapped up in all this AA "just stay positive" stuff it's like it feels so fake. Like I feel guilty for having a bad day, like I can't complain or say one dang thing about feeling bad because all she'll give me is some Hallmark card saying, but never listen to me.
Don't get me wrong, I do a lot of work on myself and of course I want to feel good, who wouldn't???
In a way I sort of question if I even am attracted physically to her. Usually I can get past that, and to a large degree I have. But it is something I think about often.
We had a pretty long talk last night, well she mostly rambled on. I don't talk much while I'm taking in and digesting.
I do have a lot of fun with her, but I constantly feel like I'm being judged because I don't reflect her "positivity" back to her.



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