6:56 a.m. - 2017-03-06
Stay away from the processors
I think I'm done dating for a long while. I'm just so over it! The latest woman I've been seeing keeps having these episodes where she trips out over something about me or us, and then needs time to process whatever it is.
We spent the entire day together yesterday shopping, eating and hiking and then right as we were saying goodbye she just stands there giving me a cold stare, forcing a kiss goodbye. Later she answered my text asking what that was all about and she said she just needs some time to "process" her feelings.
I just can't be in a relationship with someone that unpredictable, while I walk on eggshells not knowing if I'll do something to cause them to spiral. Actually I can't blame myself here for anything, this is on her, it's all about her.
I really thought she had her shit together too esp. emotionally. After all she's been sober and in AA working on herself for the past several years, but maybe I need to avoid people like that. I don't get it so much as I've not had that experience. I mean I can empathise with them, but I just don't understand the culture if you can call it that.
I've been so sick for over a month now and it has really worn me out both physically and emotionally. I did not take anytime off of work because I can't afford to as I've already booked a 3 day cruise this week. So I had to work everyday exhausted and sick. Then I made some mistakes at work and got written up for it. I'm so burnt out of this job, really need to find something else more my speed, and something I feel has purpose.
I did get an offer for a part time photo flying contract I hope goes through. It certainly break up the monotony of delivering the mail. I just hope my sub can cover me the times I do it.
This cruise will be nice in a few days. Just to be away with a friend and get some rest, sort things out in my head over the fresh ocean air. I think that will bring me to a higher level, at least for a while.
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