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6:43 a.m. - 2016-09-27
Skipped pas several months of writing in some catatonic, do nothing about anything state.
He's leaving the state in a week and I'm uncertain as to what bills he'll keep paying or not.
I have not been able to have one fucking day off to get anything done either. All the people I interviewed and started to train to give me some time off have totally flaked on me. I haven't even been able to go to a fucking doctor!
It's like no matter how hard I work, or how much money I make it seems like I barely get ahead. I don't even want to try and save $ for a rainy day, because I'll just end up spending it on broken cars, or plane, home appliances etc.
I'm repainting the inside of the house now, working with my feng shui books..a little experiment to see if that makes things better. It's worked in the past so who knows.
I mean you can't feel good and on top of the world everyday right?? Why do I feel guilty when I am down? Like everything is my fault and feeling upset about things will only cause more bad things to be attracted to me..isn't that what they say??
Should I just lock myself in the house? No I have to go to work to pay for this mess. All the messes...



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