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9:25 p.m. - 2016-05-12
So today I was just totally numb emotionally. No numbers lined up for me, no weird vibes, nothing. And for some reason many of the horses on my rural mail route have been running up to great me. They were always like "whatever" before, but now they are really curious. And my baby calf was there in her shady spot rolling around all happy too. I'm hoping that this is a good sign, at least just a little break in my string of crazy energy.
I've been thinking a lot about moving out and starting over. Since the postal mail contract said they plan to withold my first paycheck for 60 days (yes my state contract did that as well) it may be a few months before I'll have the money. But, the longer I wait in some ways better economically.
I want to open a new IRA, and buy some new furniture for a fresh start. Also want to pay down some bills..
I love my new's silver with a birds nest filled with gold eggs. One day they'll hatch and I'll fly away.
Spoke with my sister tonight. I really wish she'd call me when she doesn't have her 2 year old son. I can't have a decent conversation with her while he's constantly interrupting.
Oh they caught my friend's sister and mother's killer and he's locked up. Jenn thinks she's involved somehow though..I don't know I hate to think that but for some reason I have a hunch about it too. She won't say anything though..I wish she'd talk to all of us now, everyone is so worried.
I hate when it's already time for bed and I have not gotten the chance to properly unwind. All week it's been work, then pick up Rocco, then make dinner, clean, do some chores and then it's late again. I still need to pay bills but I don't like doing it before bed. Paying bills is a morning item, not an evening one.
Oh well better go to bed as I have to do it all over again in a few hours...



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