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8:32 a.m. - 2015-04-29
These last few weeks have all been a blur since Shan sent her Dear Jon letter to me. I've tried to write, but mostly all I could do was sleep.
Rhonda got me to run with her a couple of times but I've seem to have lost my momentum.
Went to visit my sister over the weekend as she is going through a sort of divorce from her gf. The first night there I was having a hard time sleeping as I felt like I was surrounded by electrical waves. I usually sleep with my computer playing soft music next to me, but I pushed it back and then through my cell phone which was next to me across the floor. Then I nodded off and experienced this sort of poltergeist thing trying to talk to me. I couldn't get a good look at it standing behind me, but then it took off skipping across the floor, this little figure.
I was like, "I'm trying to rest and recover, now I have to deal with this shit too??"
I've had a few bites on OkCupid and Tinder which cheered me up a little. One woman lives out of town and won't be here for a few weeks. The other I'm really drawn to is on a vacation out of town for several weeks. I wonder why she choose to contact me on her way out of town? She is an awesome artist, a real gem and she actually lives in town, not on the otherside of the planet! I'm waiting for her to write me back again, but I'm sure she is probably busy with friends/family on her vacation. I need to learn patients and to just let go, so hard for me to do when I want a connection with someone now!
So my unemployment ran out and I've been dragging my feet about reapplying because it's such a pain in the ass. This stupid state job which was suppose to start back in March still has not started yet and I'm really hurting for money now.
I've been doing a lot of feng shui in the house to attract love and $. So far I've had women call on me, but no increase of $ coming in. It's probably because I'm more focused on the former. I just wish I could snap out of this! I want to be working full-time again, stable and back on my feet. I don't want to feel stuck anymore!
Sal had a tooth pulled and got a bottle of hydrocodone which I have been enjoying, I just needed a little break.
I went to the hardware stores and bought a ton of plants with my new Discovery card, which was suppose to be used for the state job only. But so far the plants are wonderful, everyone really likes them and they change the atmosphere in the house so I figure that they are a great investment. I'd like to buy a ton more plants too as there is just nothing on these barren hills! Plants make me happy, so it's a good investment.



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