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8:26 a.m. - 2014-08-16
The desert
My sister, her girlfriend and their 1 year old son came for a visit yesterday. I didn't get to totally sleep off my bad mood. I'm glad my kids are old enough to not wake up yelling and getting into everything before 8am.
So there is this magical place I found out in the dessert called Trona Pinnacles. So far I've ventured there twice by myself to hike. I'm the only one in the entire park with no cell phone reception. It gets so quiet there sometimes it hurts your ears until an occasional military fighter jet zooms by at 500agl!
I like to wander around trying to get lost sometimes climbing or bouldering the rocks looking out for miles across the desert.
There is this one nook I found up high in the rocks that I like to climb too. The spot is in the shade with views of the Northern half of the park. The rocks are carved out in just a way for me to comfortable lay in them. I went there a few days ago because I needed a good cry, and I feel the rocks protect me there. I feel so connected, and safe there. But I could hardly squeeze a tear out. The pain would surge inside of me, and I could barley force a few tears out of me before they'd evaporate into the dry desert air. I took my shoes off and decided to try some barefoot climbing. It feels so good to be that close to these sharp rocks and know that one slip could spell disaster. With that in mind I am able to focus and be totally alive in the present moment. Only a few scrapes, and a little blood, but I didn't feel it.
I decided to go explore the Eastern half of the park, and I walked across sand and dry creek beds to reach that part. It felt like the rocks were calling to me to come visit them, explore them as they were as lonely as I. I stayed in the park for hours, the only one there and nobody knew where I was.
After that I took a bag of carrots to feed to the wild mustangs and donkeys the BLM has for sale. Sometimes I feel like them, fenced in when I want to run wild, never really tamed.
Oh well, I better get up and have some coffee, I can't deal with anymore yelling while I'm in bed..



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