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10:27 p.m. - 2014-03-04
Did the phone interview today. They asked me so many questions on leadership, and captain issues. I fucking hate interviews! This one was hard, harder then I thought it be because I felt like I babbled the whole fucking time!
Then again there were some interviews I did in the past I was sure I nailed and never got a call back, so I don't know.
I tried hard not to, but my shoulder flared up again and I popped another percacet before my interview. Probably better for me as it was easier to talk without dealing with the pain.
I've been coming unglued all day, not dealing well with anything.
My mentor said "well if they don't like your honest answers to their weird questions, then you don't want to work for them anyway". I hope he's right.
Talked on the phone for a long time with Cortney tonight. So funny.. had her post some sexy stuff toward me on my FB page just to see if J notices. Well she had me do it on hers once to get her girlfriend jealous, so hope it works.
I' glad I'm talking to Cortney again, esp. now that I'm nearing the end of my pain pills and still in incredible pain. She's been through rehab so many times, she knows what I'm going thorough. It is just so nice to have someone understand the pain, the way the pills help and how they suck you in. I'll never win here, it's only a matter of time... a year or so before I fracture something else then I'm fucked up on pills again! Why all this right now when I have this dream job interview?
I don't know if they'll call me back, they said they will make call backs for the next phase by the end of the week. I'm so emotionally fucked up because of the withdraws that I don't trust anything I feel at all! I mean I'm not shaking, or need to go to a hospital, but I know I only have like 5 pills left and my fucking shoulder is still throbbing! This is just wrong! Before this I was in the middle of my plank challenge, getting in shape running and hoop dancing, now I'm a pathetic sack of shit who can't even lift my arm straight up! All from one stupid slip on the ice!
I found a website/forum for bi women last night, and I've been enjoying reading through that lately. I don't feel so alone, so it's great.
I've been avoiding my studies and getting drunk tonight... I hope I feel better in the morning...



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