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6:51 p.m. - 2014-01-05
Smothered
I really hate the weekends. I cannot get anything done because I have to entertain my husband on his two days off, along with the kids.
I'm getting far behind on my studying. Missed another day because Sal said it's better if our son has his sleepover during the week when he's away at work.. so I have to deal with obnoxious 11 year old boys in my space, not his.
He keeps pushing his way into my personal space. I'm just not wanting to be touched by anyone lately and I don't even feel like I have a choice, because if I don't let him touch me he'll throw a fit because he's so damn insecure!
I just want to be alone so I can get shit done! I thought about booking a hotel next weekend to stay and study by myself, then I could get this darn test out of the way and book my next flight training, start applying with the regionals and get on with my life!
There are so many people who feel unloved because their partner won't touch them. I'm on the opposite spectrum where I'm being smothered! It's like even if I turn my head to look at something in his direction he immediately tries to catch my eyes with a huge cheesy grin. I must sound like a horrible spoiled bitch! I feel like I'm in that one Twilight Zone episode where the guy slips love potion to a gal he likes, then grows tired of being smothered by her and accidentally looses the counter potion.
Things have got to change, I have to move on or I'll die empty.

 

 

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