10:43 p.m. - 2013-12-17
Don't know what my problem is, why I've waited so long to write here. Maybe too much has been thrown at me.
Been studying like crazy in the evenings for my ATP written. discovered a great herb; Bacoba, which actually has been helping me focus, stay alert and memorize all this shit. No bad caffeine like side effects either.
Trying hard to stay on task and not keep wondering off to my new friend Jennifer who I've spent a few awesome weekends with recently.
I hate it so much when someone you like lives out of town and you don't know when you'll see them again (actually this Thursday at the X-mas party if the weather and my airplane are good) or spend some good time with.
It hurts when I feel I make a connection with someone and I don't want them to go away, I just want to keep getting to know them and sharing everything with them... but then time and distance makes me wonder and question if they feel/felt the same way.
Cortney texted and called me earlier this week saying she was sorry and please add her back to FB. She says she will be here in two weeks so I'm really hoping I can meet her again after like 25 years now??? Fuck she reminds me so much of Elizabeth, coming into my life with so much intensity, then getting distracted, pulling away, then coming back again. I love her craziness!
Almost solstice, moon in Gemini. Read the next two months will be much like May and June of 2012. That was an intense time. We were trying to sell the house, my best friend dog died, the flight school betrayed me but I stayed strong and forced my way through it all with a smile. So hopefully something positive will come out of the next few months as long as I keep pressing forward and not getting too sad for the friend I really miss!
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