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4:50 p.m. - 2013-10-07
on and on
Haven't visited here for awhile...
sometimes I get too depressed to write, and that's when I should write the most.
Just got so depressed how my student did not pass his oral exam a week ago. He never made the time to do the prep work I wanted to do with him and then admitted to me that he's just not the studying type and would rather be spoon fed everything.
I went over and over what I did wrong to not see this coming. Everyone say's "it's not your fault he didn't take the initiative", but I feel like they are all laughing behind my back.
Actually, this was the exact dream I had about flying from the backseat when the engine died. I told them on the radio it was due to carb ice and they said to me; "even if it was, nobody will ever believe you". See, I dreamt about this and didn't know what it meant at the time!
I just kept pushing myself to not give up and keep up my studies week nights in hope I can move on. Took a break one day when I hit rock bottom, had some drinks, listened to music and watched funny videos to try and snap myself out of it.
It's so hard to stay motivated when bad things happen. I'm just not in the mood for challenges right now! I feel like I don't have time to clear and climb over all the rocks scattered on my path! Why does this always happen? You work hard to get ahead and then all these problems come out of nowhere to get your attention and try to fuck up your plans!
Anyway, I do appreciate the free sim instruction I'm being given by Captain Dean. I'm certainly running with that, even though It's a 45 minute drive and sometimes I'm too tired. Gotta keep pushing myself.
Got a sad email from my dear friend Heather. Same story about her miserable, neurotic husband. Going to make time to write her a heart felt letter and send her a yoga for horse people book.
Been chatting a lot with my years ago high school classmate. She reminds me so much of my long lost Elizabeth...
She certainly has my attention now and do wish I'd hear back from her soon. Curious to see where our relationship leads to and hope it continues to grow, instead of fizzling away like so many of mine have.
Oh, well, back to work!



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