10:37 p.m. - 2013-09-13
memory through plexiglass
Sometimes I wish I actually had the choice whether to go to work or not, I mean when I'm ill. I need the money, so I suck it up.
So today I did the same lesson with Denise as I gave her daughter, but think I explained it better. I was too busy to notice my ears not acclimating to the altitude changes and on short final my right one decided to protest, imploding in the most horrible pain I've felt in a long time! I started to get dizzy and bit my tongue to not complain..
Took several hours to get "normal" hearing back, but hey, I made $42! Wow!
I keep picturing in my mind, this underground grotto, with blue water and me floating in it. Nice place to take a break.
I'm of course not really writing what's been bugging me lately. Perhaps I need to sip more of my hot toddy. Stopped by the liqueur store and picked up some honey brandy, as it seems to ease the pain of head colds and throbbing ears.
OK, so I taxied out with my last student last night and saw this gal pre-flighting the Chieftain for the comapny I had a major falling out with. Then in the run-up area she taxied by, her hair all up in a bun with a nicely pressed uniform and took off. When I stared at her through the hazy plexiglass it was like watching an old memory, a memory of a dream I had for myself a long time ago. I stopped myself from looking and distracted myself fiddling with the GPS or whatever.
I hate wondering what happened to me, I hate going over my short comings over and over again, trying to come up with reasons for why I'm not doing what I want to do.
I explained this to my yoga instructor and she told me to just think of things differently, like I had a different path to learn lessons and that path was just as important.
It's so hard not to go over memory's over and over and imagine how if I only did it different, I'd be so much better off.
Things just don't turn out as well as I had them planned. Nothing happened in the order I thought work best, there was always something that popped up, got in the way, a distraction to set me off course. I find it so hard to except that it's all part of the journey.
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