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11:09 p.m. - 2013-09-01
crazy old lady
Today started out good, then ended awkward.
Met Sal's old friends at a beach in Ventura. I was really enjoying watching people and their little dogs play together up and down the beach. Dogs are practically outlawed in our county beaches so it was really nice to see so many dogs and responsible owners having a good time.
So funny to remember one time when I brought my late dog to a beach we use to go to in Morro Bay, and from out of no where this lady ran up to us to let us know dogs are not allowed on this beach, then gave us a map of dog ok beaches. We walked through all the "save the Snowy Plover" signs local elementary school kids made to exit the sand. We plan on bringing a goat to the beach for a walk next time!
So anyway, after fun on the beach we checked out the Channel Island museum, then I was starved, so we walked through some touristy area to a seafood restaurant. Of course being a holiday weekend there was a bit of a wait which I didn't mind, although practicing patience with low blood sugar are very challenging for me!
So they said be about 20 minutes... there were a few random chairs around the check in area and Sal, the kids and a few of his friends sat while I stood across the isle checking out the view. Then from out of nowhere this weird lady comes up to me and ask me to move my 4 year old so her mother could sit there. I was a bit shocked as I was nowhere near the kids or my husband and I only saw her. So I yelled at Sal (there was annoying 80's music blasting) to put my daughter on his lap, also telling her she twisted her ankle and can't stand... and he did. I went back to checking out the view and she came up to me and started going off on me saying she was surprised at how angry I was for asking because her generation has more respect for their elders and would gladly give up their seat to accommodate them. I told her "Lady I don't know what the hell your talking about, your mother can have the chair, I'm minding my own business and your going off for no reason". Then she said, "no just forget it, we don't want the seat" and all this other passive aggressive crap. Sal's friend's jumped up and surrounded me trying to distract me. Their really happy, easy going zen like people. We went to sit down, then that old hag walks in by our table up to the bar to buy cocktails for her mom and friend and I start up complementing her ankh tattoos and how great they look on someone her age... (she either didn't hear me or ignored me) while Sal tried to calm me down.
A few thing I'm concerned about... one is I was not looking for a fight, I was on a weekend vacation taking a break from things. I always had this belief that your thoughts, or mood attract like things. I was actually in a good but neutral mood, so why did this happen to me? Why didn't she ask Sal to move my daughter? Why didn't she just ask my 10 year old if her mom could take his chair? Why drag me and my daughter into her anger/anxiety issues?
Come to think of it, over the last 5 or so years I've gotten into fights with random menopausal women... I don't want to talk about this ever again!
The first was with my mother and daughter when she was like 5 months old. A woman in a large suv cut infront of us in the Target crosswalk. I yelled "it's a crosswalk lady" as she passed us a few feet from hitting us. She tracked me down in the store and said "it may have ben a cross walk but you have a big fucking mouth", flipped me off and stormed off! I yelled "you have a big fucking ass bitch", as she walked off.
Then a few years after that I was driving to physical therapy, minding my own business on the highway and someone zoomed up on my tail. Finnally when I could move over (I drive about 5-10 mph over the speed limit) she passed me and I got back in the fast lane and she slammed on her breaks. I tried to get around her and she slowed way down and wouldn't let me at one point almost pushing me off the road. I called the CHP telling them what was happening that there was a wreckless driver...She pulled off on my exit and pulled to the side of the road. I figured she's gonna get right behind me and I don't want that to happen, so I pulled off about 50 ft. behind her, still on the phone with chp. Then she jumps out, runs to my car (I tried to lock it but not on time) opens my door, grabs my neck and tries to strangle me while I'm on the phone. She stops and runs back to her car and drives off. I continue on, still on the phone with the highway patrol and pull into the parking lot of PT. Then from out of nowhere she pulls up, jumps out of the car to meet me in the parking lot and I asked her what the hell she wants, why is she after me. She said "yo know what you did, you gave me the finger" (if I did,I don't recall, but she would have deserved more then just that). I told her it doesn't matter, the cops already know and have her plate number. She goes "Well I can make a call too, and I have a witness, yo don't" (as she gestured to some embarrassed teenage girl in her passenger seat).
My physical therapist helped me a lot and told me they recently got into a car confrontation with a man about her age and were wondering if there is something weird going on with that age group. Anyway long story short, the sheriff who interviewed me and her (because she called to say i chased her off the road) believed me because she told him to tell me sorry, after he said it was all on recording. I pressed charges, she didn't show up n court and a year latter she was arrested.
What I want to know is why I feel like I attract fights with menopausal women?
I'm not looking for a fight, but I feel like they target me. is it a coincidence? Is that generation fucked up on antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds? Is that generation of women (that's all I've dealt with) just resentful?
Then the other issue I have is about getting all worked up when these surprise attacks happen. Sometimes I get so made I want to start punching. I begin to shake and I can barely talk because I'm so mad. I want to be able to just laugh in someone face and point out how ridiculous they are being. Hold a mirror up so they can see how stupid they are, but I don't know how and I get so angry and pumped up I can't do that. I don't know, maybe this yoga will help. I'm really a peaceful but introverted person.
Tommorow is yoga boot camp. This week is going to be interesting. Worried about that private who wants to rent our plane. In fact it was my leg to fly home from KCMA and I was doing all this stupid stuff (not dangerous), radio mistakes, pushing wrong buttons etc. I was just so distracted by being angry, so this is something I really need to work on. I'm not going to let this stupid event get in my way, or stop me from being happy! Really could use some advise right now... I wonder if events like these will keep happening until I learn how to deal with them?
I have this memory of being like 3 years old in a home daycare in Capitola. I was the only kid left because my dad worked long hours and my mom was taking classes in college or something. I remember this older woman bringing in her grandbaby to visit the daycare owner. I remember I was sitting at some table with them and I wanted to play with the baby. The grandmother (I'd say she was like late 50's, early 60's, same age and looks as all these older women who I feel target me) saying no and slapping me in the face. I kicked her and she's slap me harder, over and over I kept getting slapped until the daycare owner dragged me to a back room and told me to sleep.
I tried to tell my folk's, but they said "oh you probably just had a bad dream" and nobody believe me!
You know I do have a lot of women friend's that particular age, not best friend's but I'd say more or less colleagues especially at the airport. In fact I've flown with a lot of them working hard to instill confidence with their flying abilities. So I wonder if there is something in my subconscious that makes me attract this kind of rudeness from them, or if I just notice it more... Shit I don't know! I wasn't looking for a problem, I was and hopefully still on a good roll... working and trying hard right now!
OK this is a one day emotional set back, that is much easier to get over then say a broken bone or more fucking hand surgery! Need to put things into perspective!!



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