11:20 p.m. - 2013-08-26
Worked on my logbook most of last night, then got in a huge fight with my printer this morning. Can't believe how much I spent on that stupid thing a few years back, then over $100 in ink it "said" I was out of!
Met Captain Dean at the pilot lounge and we did ground instead of fly. Sorta needed to touch base and get a game plan together on how this will play out. He told me to forget about all that happened with me and that 135 carrier years ago. Something similar just happened to him and he has thousands of hours on me and most people at the airport!
Need to call the yoga class lady back. Really need to get back into that now more then ever. My nerves have been all wound up, having trouble eating and starting to loose weight again. I hate when I get like this!
Still can't get that dream I had recently on my homes foundation crumbling away out of my mind. It's like all this stuff from my past I've been using to prop myself up on is crumbling away.
I don't even want to think about the past and all my screw ups, and wishes how I could have done it better because I'd be further along with career had I done so. I'm tired of feeling so guilty about things all these years... all these regrets I've clung onto.
Now it's like the universe is testing me, by reintroducing the most obnoxious people back into my life. I don't want to even think about them anymore and yet I run into them at the store, or whatever! At least a few of them have brought me luck and extra money.
Trying so hard to not think about it, no more distractions, keep moving forward. As my dear late Sean use to tell me "when the train comes in, better have your ticket". I'm counting on that!!
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