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10:03 p.m. - 2013-08-20
Full circle
This blue moon is giving me nothing but a headache!
When I first started writing here, about ten years ago (lost all that, but did print the pages first) I mostly wrote about my frustrations sealing with the new company that took over my former flight school. It was so bad I ended up printing out the pages and then discussing them with a therapist to figure out everything that happened.
Well today I learned they got their first twin which they started their 135 with repossessed! So things are finely starting to wind down with them, and a member from the fun original school/club I started with found me and is having me instruct his wife and daughter in their cute little plane. Things have really come full circle!
I'm trying harder this time, writing lesson plans and everything. I'd like to do my best job ever, find a few mentors and then move on up the ladder.
Sal gave the little handwritten note card I made to Jennifer today. Said she thought it was sweet and told her to read it when he wasn't around. Hope I hear back from her, but it's hard trying not to have expectations. Just keep busy and try not to think so much, don't get too emotional about anything now! That will only cause suffering and slowing down on my focus.
This guy I dated once about 16 years ago told me if he could leave me with only a few things he's learned in life I should remember to only surround by people who can bring me up, not down. People that can contribute something positive to my life. And, to always remember not too ever be too happy, nor too sad, but find a place right in the middle. Spoken by a true jet fighter man....
So many distractions that try and pull me in, suck me in... The biggest one is fear, fear of failure. I can't count how many damn times I've failed and now in my 40's I keep feeling like time is running out.
I do remember having my fortune read a few times in my early 20's. Both said I'd become successful latter in life, but they didn't specify an age. I cling to that, really I do!
I was going to work on my logbook tonight, but my head is still hurting, and I have a feeling if I start now it make it that much harder for me to sleep, working with all those numbers, trying to make sense out of my lack of good record keeping!
I wish i was in my 20's again knowing all I know now. I wonder how it would have all played out if I did things just a little differently...
Well, I got my new historical fiction, lesbian romance novel, so think I'll end the day with that!
Tomorrow school starts for Rocco and I'm going to try and rewire my brain to get up early after a good nights sleep... har, har, har!



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