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11:54 p.m. - 2013-07-25
At least it's Thursday night
I really don't know why I bother wasting my time on FB anymore. I'm so tired of everyone's political rants now, it's like they go on their just looking for a fight! I use to like to goof off there making stupid quizzes and playing games... now it's just like reading the editorials. Everything has to turn so serious all the time.
Tomorrow going to take my mechanic up for a ride. Got her a job here at the place I use to work when it was a regular flight school.
Guess we'll be flying to NM for "vacation" on our credit card of course.
Their being nice to me at the office again, promising me more work so hopefully that will come through, but can't depend on it. Need to get my shit together.... to scared if I do something bad will happen yet again to fuck it all up.
Haven't been being very compassionate or romantic with Sal. Feel bad, but I'm just not feeling it lately. Too much on my mind, too many frustrations, we're living in separate worlds.
I wonder how long I'm going to live here. Don't feel totally attached to this new house... maybe needs more work on our part. Just don't think I can be happy living without trees. I mean it's beautiful, the golden hills, cows, vineyards and huge sunsets. I think I just feel safer with trees around me, plus it's hot as hell under the sun now!
Thinking about taking more yoga classes... firstly to get back and shape and grounded again, and secondly maybe I can make friends there. It's so hard making friends when your married with young kids!
I was thinking back to when I was young and single and having so many friends. One time I met this gal in a bar and we exchanged numbers, then talked on the phone all night until sunrise! Got her a job where I worked and we had some great times before parting our ways. I really just want that again, someone new to have fun with.
I'm rambling tonight... this moon has my mind spinning all night, horrible insomnia. At least it's Thursday and I can listen to Over The Edge. I can't believe they've been on for so long, and I've been listening since the mid-80's. Wish I could go back and give myself some advice... not that I'd listen or even that it would turn out for the better...
I have several paper journals from the 80's to early 90's (when I caught my roommate reading one and stopped journaling). Not sure if or when I'll pick one up to see what I had to say. Can you get advice from your past? I feel like for some reason the present is far superior, but then why the longing for past comforts???



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